Despite the humorous font-related name, this band are far from a laugh-riot. The only time I've chuckled at the same amount of noise was when the fat guy ran into a car whilst riding a quad-bike on You've Been Framed (for American readers: read 'America's Funniest Home Videos'). Either way, let's put our not-prejudiced heads on, and get reviewing!
There's lo-fi, and then there's lazy. I think Times New Viking fall into the second category. What they manage to do, in the space of 'Lo-Fi' makes you wonder if they're doing anything at all. It's more a case of "We'll put out some music, eh?" "Sure" "What do you want to play?" "I don't know. I'm sooo apathetic" "Mary had a little lamb?" "APATHY!"
I have just suffered from an apathy overload. My shoulders are actually starting to slouch even more than normal; my eyes are drooping; and my brain is shutting down. This is infectious apathy. It's bordering on noise-rock, or maybe even noise-pop; but, even Lightning Bolt and the Mae Shi, or HEALTH do half-decent tunes when they noise-rock it up. This...this is just...indescribably poor.
It's rambling, shambling, and a poor excuse for the punk ethic. Even John Lydon actually tried to sing some form of melody when he opened his mouth, not mumble. I know the words are "God save the Queen! Her fascist regime!"...not "Argle bargle swee. Jumble mumble flee!" Even when Lightning Bolt sing through a sock, it sounds better than this. In fact, at this point, I'm considering putting on some Lightning Bolt just to make me feel like I've listened to something good.
I can't go on. It's the apathy. It's the music (or lack of it). It's not polished. It's not punk. It's just three kids in a garage with an 8-track and some instruments. Try again next time, guys and gals.
Overall: 2/10 - Punk ethic? Maybe. But even if Punk would vomit over the shoes of Times New Viking, it wouldn't make them any more respectable a band. Honestly: AVOID AVOID!
