Dashboard Confessional - Alter the Ending

2009-12-09 | |

I'll be the first to admit I haven't picked up on anything that Chris Carrabba has done in the last four years. Apparently there have been three Dashboard Confessional albums since I last tuned in and paid attention to the epic whining bitch that is Dashboard, back in the day of black hair, black nails, and generally monochrome clothing. So, I decided to look into the latest album, when I was informed that there was one ironically floating around.

Alter the Ending is the 6th album that whiny bitches Dashboard Confessional have released in the last decade. Six in nine is a good number, especially when all the songs still sound exactly the same as the last time I listened to them. It's always that "Could be on a movie soundtrack where the whiny bitch gets dumped by his far-too-good-for-him girlfriend" kind of track, one after the other. I think Chris Carrabba sums it up, ironically, in his opening track: "I struggle so hard to believe"...and I do, I struggle to believe that someone can have this much angst bottled up inside them, when they're 34 and should be out working, or with their wife.

So, what can I say about this?

Is it a masterpiece? No. Not really. It's another slice of the same pie we've been force-fed by Carrabba since 2002.
What about the title track? Well, that's pretty lame; the opener is a stronger tune than the overly pretentious "post-hardcore" "Green Day wannabe" balls that's been thrown out with the name of Alter the Ending.
So, it's bad? No. I wouldn't say it's bad. I'd just say that it's been done to death. Carrabba is flogging a dead horse, with all the dead horses in the world. Sure, if you can stick 45 minutes of his bitching and moaning; or you're a 15 year old girl going through a tough break-up, it's alright. Passable, I believe is the word the Four Yorkshiremen would use - "Aye, passable that..."
Why are you skirting the issue? Isn't it obvious? I don't like this album, but I think it has its merits; in that, it poses a very good question - Do people still give a shit about Dashboard anymore? Oh, that, and the fact that I admittedly couldn't listen to it to the end. I'd actually prefer to have the Jo'Bros latest trash pumped directly into my brain while strapped to a chair a la Alex DeLarge.

And that's my five cents. Sure, it's not the best review ever, but, neither is it the best album ever. Sheesh.


Top Track: Until Morning

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